I wonder if you know what its like
To hate the mirror
The look of your skin, your eyes
Your stomach, your boobs, your thighs
To want to be beautiful
and hope what reflects in the glass
is an illusion, maybe a lie

Do you know how it feels?
to want to feel worthy of vanity
to dress up in stupid irony
and cry because you feel ugly
the useless cloth falling unflatteringly
making you feel disgusting, so perfectly?

I know how it can be.
To feel sick from your own image
when you want to starve yourself
as punishment for the smallest binge.
To feel completely undesirable.
and hate yourself for being this way
while hoping your unsightly bulges
aren't that obviously noticeable.

I'm among those who want more.
To feel healthy and beautiful.
I want to feel alluring
To be something almost stunning
But I'll never feel that way
no matter how hard I try.